Death, delusions and stiff drinks

Being a parent is really, really freaking hard, and some days - like today - I feel like a miserable failure.  Case in point: this afternoon I was blindsided by a comment from the 4 year old about death.  Yes, DEATH.  As in the grim reaper.  Outta nowhere.  I was showing him how you bleach a sand dollar (a sand dollar that has been sitting on our kitchen counter for almost a month now) and he said "Is it alive?"  I said "No honey, it was at one point but it died in the ocean."  He said "Well I can ask God to bring it back."  Excuse me, WHAT?!  As I picked my jaw up from the floor it hit me that this may be something he truly believes.  Yikes.  I've been meaning for months now to have a meaningful, well-prepared, much thought out conversation about death with him, but I didn't envision it over a Pyrex bowl of bleach and a dead sea creature.  Nonetheless, I figured there's no time like the present.  So, I started explaining to him that when something or someone dies, they go to heaven to be with God, and they can't come back, etc, etc.  He got real wide eyed and informed me that his classmate H's orange cat died and went to heaven.  I told him that her kitty is likely having a blast playing with God in heaven, and that someday when H goes to heaven, she'll get to see and play with her kitty again.  Then the waterworks started.  The bottom lip poked out and those big blue eyes filled with tears that almost made my green eyes fill with tears.  He said he didn't want to talk about it anymore.  I told him we didn't have to, and it's okay to be sad about things dying, but nobody or nothing is dying RIGHT NOW IN THIS MOMENT so he really didn't need to feel sad.  Then I distracted him - in mother of the year fashion - by suggesting we go have that water balloon fight he mentioned earlier.  Yep...it's time to find a good book or website or SOMETHING that will help me explain death to him, so any suggestions would be much appreciated.  An extra dry vodka martini would be much appreciated, as well.

Just an hour or so later after the aforementioned water balloon fight, I was rushing D to get in the shower.  The convo went something like this:
D - "I want to take a bath."
Me - "No honey, you're too dirty for a bath, you need to take a shower."
D - "I want to put on the clothes I was wearing earlier."
Me - "No honey, those clothes are wet and dirty and you need to put on something clean."
D - "Why am I always wrong?"

As I hung my head in shame and vowed not to say "no" to him so much, I tried to reassure him that he is NOT always wrong, it's just that...well...I know what's best for him and sometimes that's not the thing he has in his head.  But I totally butchered that explanation as well so he probably now has a complex that will scar him for life.

In other cause-for-a-martini news, this morning, out of nowhere, my child said "I want a brother AND a sister."  What the WHAT??  Every now & then he will say he wants a sibling after he sees his beloved Baby J or Baby M, but this was totally out of the blue and this was the first time he's mentioned TWO siblings.  And what do I say to him?  "Well, I guess you need to talk to God about that."  Where did THAT come from?!  Now I'm terrified that he WILL talk to God and God might just oblige him someday, and that scares the ever loving crap outta me!  Especially because I don't know if I EVER want to increase the size of our family!

Please, fortheloveofgod, just let me get through the rest of this day without saying something permanently damaging or making him cry again.  And please don't let ME cry.  And, for the record, I prefer Ketel One in my martini.